God, is that you?

"For God does speak- now one way, now another-though man may not perceive it.  In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing from the sword..." "God does all these things to a man- twice, even three times- to turn back his soul from the pit, that the light of life may shine on him".  
Job 33 v 14-18, 29-30

Many years after first becoming a Christian I realised how much God had spoken to me personally already in a still small voice or a dream but I had not recognised it at the time.  Maybe at times I knew deep down, but I dared not ask the question, God is that you?  Sometimes we just don't really want to know the answer to that question.  But the more we understand his goodness the more we see that his voice is always good.

After awhile I acknowledged I was having very clear dreams that seemed to be meaningful and I wrote them down sometimes to 'try to work them out'.  Then again, after awhile I would also ask God for their meaning.  Then more progress, and I am now learning to pray more persistently for answers. I write the dream out as close as possible to the time it occurs- even if at 3am in the morning- even if just typed out on the notes of my smart phone.  I may pray briefly then and go back to bed, and look at it again in the morning.  Sometimes the meaning becomes clarified as its re-read or read out or described to my husband.  This is the listening.  (There is also God still small voice which I think I find harder to distinguish.  And then there is God bringing parts of scripture to mind in answer to a question in prayer or just to get me thinking down a certain track...)

So, first there is acknowledging that God can, and does speak in ways other than his written word. Then there is listening. Then seeking.  Then understanding.  Then responding in faith to what has been understood.

Understanding and responding have been the most challenging aspects for me.  Why?  Because sometimes understanding has come, painfully, after a crisis that may have been averted if I had understood the meaning and timing of what God was communicating.  Now there is a big possibility, owing to the fact God is sovereign, that he knew that I would not 'get it' and he has been patiently teaching me to grow in this gift.

What types of things has God communicated to me?  Insight into mine or others hidden motives, guidance about my children, warnings about my sin and idols, warnings about temptations,information about the future concerning myself or someone I know, encouragements such as hopeful glimpses toward a plan he has for me or insight into how he well understands and has compassion for something I'm going through or I have passed through.

There are lovely dreams, in which Gods tenderness is tangible, but there are also dreams in which my emotions are wreaked or I am terrified, like the verse above says.  God terrifies us sometimes on purpose, only to spare us from a worse terror, such as a great loss in life he knows we will severely regret or a going into 'the pit'-death/hell/walking away from him.

My understanding is growing and so is my response, thankfully.  One day, recently, we modified our plans for the morning based on something I strongly believed God was saying to avoid- that felt like a major act of faith because there was no other basis- and we had to explain to the kids- we explained to them about how God speaks to dreams, such as like Joseph, to help his people.  I would never have thought I would do something like what I just described.  It would have sounded ludicrous and foolish to me not that long ago.  At one point I wouldn't have put it past me to be capable of mocking someone who believed in changing plans based on a dream.

I hear a yearning for those who want to hear from God and I want to say it is a journey.  You have to learn to really want it, and then you have to learn a totally different kind of understanding, and then you have to learn how to step out once you are confident you have understood!  And that is a lot of learning, and not without a lot of confusion, waiting, prayer.  I have been learning to inquire of anything I think God is showing me...Such as- "I think this is what you are saying to me, is this what you mean Lord?" And, what about this aspect?  What about this other aspect?".  And then more listening.

A humbling realisation has been that whether I have chosen to believe God speaks to me or not he did, is and does and I believe he is speaking to every person in one way or another.  He gave his son, the word, to the whole world.  He is not far from each one of us.